One Awkward Experience
by Yoshi 2.1
Summary: While out for a night on the town, Snake catches a drunk Samus in a bar and decides to bring her back home to the mansion, where she does something to him that he never expects.


**One Awkward Experience**

"Well, this is a great time for a night on the town, being cooped up in that mansion all day was too boring, I'm glad to be out of there." said Solid Snake as he walked down the sidewalk. He was wear a white short sleeved shirt, blue jean pants and black boots.

It was midnight in Smash City, and Snake decided to go for a late night walk in the city. As he did, he passed by a few bars along the way. As much as he wanted to have a drink, he chose to pass on it, since he didn't like drinking during nighttime. The next bar he walked by had a lot of people,both men and women,gathered in there, drinking and smoking. Feeling curious, he peeked in through the window to see what was going. All he saw was a bunch of guys and girls making fools out of themselves.

But who he didn't expect to see was Samus, sitting up at the counter, drinking what appeared to be her twelth cup of alcohol as there were already eleven empty cups in front of her. Snake was immediately shocked at the sight of seeing her drink.

"What the hell is she doing, she told me that she doesn't drink alcohol, I can't believe that she lied to me. It doesn't matter now, I'm gonna get her out of there right now."

He walked straight into the bar, shoving his way pass random people, mostly women, one of them who was drunk and planted a french kiss on him, and also men, some which he punched out of the way. He walked up to Samus and questioned her.

"Samus, what the hell are you doing in a bar drinking at this time of night, this is not like you." said Snake.

But the way she responded was not normal.

"Heeeyyyy kid, what are you doing sneaking around this early?" asked Samus in a drunken tone of voice.

"You're drunk, I don't believe it, how many drinks did you have?"

"Uuuuhhhhhhhh, uh two." she said stupidly.

"Don't act stupid with me, you had more than that."

"How many toothpicks does it take to fly to the moon?"

"Stop talking like that, it's really annoying."

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, if you're-"

"Quit with the damn singing already."

"Dude chill out, it's only a movie, not a chiropractor."

Snake was now starting to get mad.

"Samus, I swear to god if you say one more damn word, I will have no choice but to carry you out of here over my shoulder in front of everybody."

"I got sunshine, on a cloudy day, when it's cold outside, I got the-"

"I told you to stop singing dammit."

"Huh, when did you get here, are you the pizza boy?"

"Alright, you're coming with me this right now."

Without thinking, Snake grabbed Samus and hoisted her over his shoulder. Although he had a little trouble keeping his balance as Samus seem to be weighing him down for some reason.

"Damn Samus, what did you eat, a bunch of bricks, because you're kinda heavy."

"Hey, I can see a house from here."

"Will you just shut the hell up already, god."

"Mommy, can I have some cookies?"

"SHUT UP YOU DRUNK JACKASS."

* * *

**Later on...**

Snake arrived back at the mansion a few minutes ago, still carrying Samus over his shoulder. He unlocked the door his free hand and kicked the door open. As he carried Samus to her room, he encountered Sonic and Falco along the way.

"Hey, what happened to Samus?" asked Sonic.

"I just found her at a bar. She drank a lot of alcohol and got completely drunk, so I decided to bring her back here to put her to bed,"

"Looks to me like you're planning to do more than put her to bed." said Falco.

"Now don't you dare go making assumptions, I meant what I said, I'm just putting her to bed and that's it."

"Yeah right, you wanna sleep with her, I know that's what you're up to tonight."

"Sonic's right, plus you can get lucky this time since she's drunk."

"I've got a better idea, how about you two keep your damn mouths shut and mind your own fucking business before I decide whether I should kick your asses or shoot you both dead, I had a rough time bringing Samus back so don't bother me."

With that, he stormed pass them and headed for Samus's room.

Sonic and Falco suddenly grinned at each other mischievously, meaning they had an I idea in store.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking Sonic?"

"I most certainly am Falco, it's time for some eavesdropping."

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

Snake finally reached Samus's room. He pushed the door open and walked in,closing the door soon after. He headed over to the bed and placed her down on the mattress softly.

"There, you're here, now try and get some rest, you've had a long night." said Snake.

But just before he could turn to leave, Samus grabbed his arm. She soon pulled him closer until they were face to face.

"What are you doing?" asked Snake.

"I can't tell you how much you complete me."

"Geez, you are really drunk from the get-go."

Samus soon leaned her face in towards Snake, almost as if she was attempting to kiss him. But Snake was in for a surprise when she suddenly began licking his mouth crazlily, drenching his face with her tongue as she left saliva everywhere. Snake soon pushed himself away from her and wiped his mouth.

"God Samus, what the hell was that for?"

"Mmmm, you taste like fruit."

"What are you a dog or something, that was digusting."

"The weather forcast for today is partly cloudly with a chance of rain."

"That's it I'm outta here."

Snake tried to leave the room but suddenly Samus jumped on his back.

"What the hell, Samus get off me."

"Woohoo, ride em cowboy, ride like the wind."

"Samus I'm serious, get off me or you'll make me fall."

"All boosters, full speed ahead."

Unfortunately Snake couldn't handle the pressure and ended up stumbling backwards, falling onto the bed. Before he could get up however, Samus climbed on top of him and pinned his arms down

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I wanna have some fun tonight."

"What are you talk-, oh my god, you wouldn't dare."

"Hehehehehehe" giggled Samus mischievously.

"Samus I'm warning you, don't you dare try anything dirty, I mean it."

"Miss me miss me now you gotta kiss me."

"No no Samus, wait, don't you dare try to kiss me."

"Give me some sugar baby."

Snake was running out of options, here he was about to be kissed by a drunk bounty huntress. He tried desperately to break free from her grip, but she refused to release him. He soon noticed her tongue sticking out of her mouth as she leaned down towards him. Before he could react, he felt Samus's lips touch his, and her tongue enter his mouth. Snake reacted with shock and dismay as Samus's tongue dwelled within his mouth hungrily. As she kissed him, she began unzipping her Zero Suit from the front. She then pulled it off and threw it on the floor. Snake shivered slightly as he felt Samus's naked body rubbing against him. He also became shocked when he felt Samus removing his pants.

But for some reason he felt as if he was being hypnotized. He soon found himself returning the kiss, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. As they kissed, Samus pulled off his shirt and rubbed all over his firmly built chest.

Meanwhile, Sonic and Falco were currently outside the room listening at the door.

"Ha, I knew he was lying, he did want to sleep with Samus." said Sonic.

"I guess we were right all along." said Falco.

"Shh, I wanna hear more."

Samus moaned loudly with pleasure as Snake playfully massaged her breasts, squeezing them slightly which caused her to giggle. She soon decided to have more fun as she positioned herself over Snake's mid section, right above his cock.

"We have liftoff captain." said Samus before she gently thrusted down on his cock, squealing as she felt it press against her barrier. She soon began to move her body up and down on Snake's cock, bouncing her breasts each time she did so. Snake decided to improvise by moving his body along with her, making the procedure go quicker than expected. Samus was already on the verge of having an orgasm.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna, I'm gonna-, OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH GGGGGGOOOOOODDDDD." squealed Samus as she squirted her juices all over Snake's legs. Pretty soon they both became exhausted and fell asleep, with Samus laying right next to Snake.

* * *

**The Next Day...**

"What happened last night!" wondered Snake as he woke up. He suddenly that he was in bed with Samus, who was cuddled up with him.

"What the hell am I doing sleeping with Samus!" He said as he pulled away from her.

Pretty soon, Samus woke up as well. However, when she saw Snake in bed with her, rather than freaking out, she instead just stared at him.

Then she spoke.

"Well, this is a surprise." said Samus.

"Easy to say for someone who lied to me."

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb with me, I saw you in that bar last night. You had about twelve drinks of alcohol, and you were drunk from the get-go. You were saying all these stupid things and you were singing like crazy."

Samus began thinking for a minute and soon something jogged her memory.

"Oh, now I remember."

"You're damn right you remember."

"What are you so angry at me for?"

"Besides the fact that you lied about not drinking, I'm also angry at how much your annoying drunk ass got on my damn nerves the whole night."

"What did I do that was so annoying?"

"First off, you said all kinds of crazy things, you sang like there was no tommorrow, when I brought you back to the mansion, you licked my face like you were a dog, you jumped on my back and rode me like a cowgirl, not to mention that you kissed me, and you shoved your tongue down my throat."

"Well, I apologize for that."

"You better be sorry. And from now on, we don't tell anyone about this." said Snake as he got out of the bed.

"Wait Snake."

"What?"

"How about a hug?"

"A hug!"

"Just between friends."

"Well, fine."

Snake then walked to Samus and gave her a hug. She soon decided to tease him by grabbing his ass.

"Get your hands off my ass."

"Sorry."

After getting redressed, Snake then open the bedroom door, only to find Sonic and Falco sleeping back to back outside in the hall.

"WERE YOU TWO IDIOTS LISTENING AT THE DOOR THE ENTIRE TIME LAST NIGHT!" yelled Snake, thus startling them awake.

"Uh no, we were on our way to our rooms to go to bed and unfortunately, we ended up falling asleep here." Sonic lied.

"No we didn't, we were just listening at the door, oops, I shouldn't have said that last part." said Falco.

"No you shouldn't have, because now I'm gonna kick your asses."

"I think we'd better run Falco."

"Right behind you Sonic."

They soon took off running down the hall, all the while being chased by an angry Snake.

"GET BACK HERE YOU EAVESDROPPERS."

Meanwhile, Samus just closed the door. And soon, she climbed back into bed with a huge grin on her face.

"To tell the truth, I was actually drunk, but not all the way. That whole sex night with Snake was my real intention, even in my drunken state, I was able to get some. Too bad I never let him know that, hehehehhehehe." said Samus before she went back to sleep.

* * *

**Well here's another oneshot I made.**

**I sure hope that someone finds this funny at some point.**

**My two morals for this story are:**

**1. Never let Samus drink alcohol, it will make her do stupid things, such as have sex with you intentionally.**

**2. Don't bother Snake when he's angry, because he'll just beat your ass.**

**Later everybody.**


End file.
